


Different

by sallyamongpoison



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Lyrium Addiction, Lyrium Withdrawal, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 04:35:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11661738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallyamongpoison/pseuds/sallyamongpoison
Summary: In which after Samson has recovered a bit from the Red Lyrium Cullen notices that something about him has changed.Written for the prompt: “I don’t know where I am. Help me”





	Different

This wasn’t the first time it had happened. Cullen had hoped that the lyrium leaving Samson’s body would be like what had happened to his own: sickness, headaches, nightmares…things he could handle. And it had been that way, for the most part, but in too many ways it was wholly unlike anything he’d had to deal with. He still had the cravings for it, heard the Song in his head like a lustful whisper in the night, but he could ignore it. With enough to do, enough to occupy his mind, he could let it fall to the back of his mind. The Red, though…it wasn’t at all like anything he could have expected.

After he’d been taken from Dagna, after the experiments were done and Samson was healing, the other man was different. Oh, in a lot of ways he was still the same asshole that Cullen had known for years and had loved when he was younger. He was still that man, but he was different. Sometimes his eyes would go blank and he would stare out a window or through the hole in Cullen’s roof for hours on end. Sometimes he would go on an errand, run something for Cullen or anyone else, and end up nowhere near where he was supposed to be and nearly in a fit because his mind had wandered. That wasn’t the man Cullen knew. That was the General that had led Corypheus’ army either. It was Samson, but it wasn’t at the same time. Different.

At first, Cullen hadn’t thought too much of it. His body was ridding itself of the lyrium and things were always strange. Cullen had forgotten himself at times too, he knew that, and though he couldn’t remember many of those times now he knew they’d happened. It had been a hard, lonely road to walk mostly by himself. Cassandra had been there, inasmuch as she could be with her duties at the time, but for the most part he’d been alone. When Samson had been released from Dagna he’d vowed that he wouldn’t doom another Templar, another person to that same lonely road. Not alone. Not without some kind of support, and in Samson’s case not without someone who cared by his side.

It had been months now, though. In that time the man’s body had healed as best it could, but the Red had taken from him. It took his strength, it took his health, and it had taken more of his mind than Samson (or Cullen) wanted to admit. These times happened more and more often where Samson would look up at him like a frightened animal. If the other recruits got involved he’d snap and growl like a cornered rat, and it was only Cullen who could take him down. Then…then it had gotten worse.

Night had fallen hours ago, and Cullen had been summoned to the War Room for more plans of attack and what best to do with their resources. He’d been there longer than he was comfortable, and when he’d finally went to his quarters they were dark and empty. The fire had gone out and the candles had burned down to nearly nothing. Samson was gone, and Cullen was worried. It was bad enough when these episodes would happen during the day, but at night they seemed to get exponentially worse. Everything was worse at night, Cullen knew that too well himself, and he didn’t want to leave the man alone.

Out on the ramparts, out where the wind whipped and the sounds of the keep were muted, Cullen found him. On the ledge. Samson’s head was tipped back as he looked up at the moon and the light touched his face like it had done a thousand times before. In better times it might have been romantic, but now…Cullen could feel his heart beating in his throat. One wrong word or move and Samson would go over the edge. He didn’t look like he was set to jump, but almost like a child who had climbed to high so he could see better. He looked…small. Smaller than Cullen could ever remember Raleigh Samson looking. In a tattered dressing gown and bare feet the man stood on the cold stone and just looked up at the moon.

Cullen stood and watched, waited for him to make a move, but when he didn’t he finally approached. “Sam?” he asked, voice quiet enough not to startle.

It took a long moment before Samson turned. His thin hair moved in the wind and his eyes were large and frightened. “C-Cullen?” he replied. His voice was shaking and his teeth were clattering together. How long had he been out there like this?

“Why…are you out here?” Cullen asked as he came a few steps closer, “are you alright?”

For a moment Samson stared at him, and he half expected some deadpan quip to leave his lips. That was what usually happened when Cullen interrupted his alone time, anyway, but not this time. The fear in the man’s eyes didn’t fall away, nor did the shaking of his body. Cullen took another step forward and offered the man his hand. Hopefully he’d take it, but Samson made no move to do so.

“Cullen,” Samson repeated his name, and frowned as he reached for Cullen’s hand, “I… don’t know where I am.” When his hand touched Cullen’s it squeezed hard. Harder than he should have been able to. Cullen could feel him shivering, trembling, and before he opened his mouth to reply Samson beat him to it.

“Help me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on tumblr! @sallyamongpoison


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